Pork barrel spending

Sorry if you thought this was a post about me channeling my inner John McCain. The pork barrel spending I’m referring to is the money I used to spend on pork products at my local supermarket’s deli section.

Can you feel the love?

This past weekend, while at the deli counter I was attacked by a woman dishing out samples of a certain brand of cold cuts. The brand? Let’s just say it rhymes with ‘Doors Bread’. The samples were great, but they paled in comparison to the coupons!

I love coupons – especially for Doors Bread meat products – among the most expensive and tastiest selections in the deli case!  But instead of loading up on piggy products, I followed that little healthy voice in my head that said “buy the turkey, you borderline prehypertensive fat load!”

Kind reader, you need to know that in my youth, I never met a processed, pre-packaged, porcine product that I didn’t like.

I’ve had a long love affair with the simple joy of a slab of swine sandwiched between two slices of white bread. I think it all started with a simple bologna and cheese sandwich and blossomed into full-blown lust the first time I had a sub from the world’s greatest sub shop.

But alas, my unchained desire for the pork cold cut has tapered off in the middle ages. You know, we 40 plusers have to watch the fat, the salt, the nitrates – all those things that contribute to a great sandwich (and I might add, a great life).

Now, my sandwich meat of choice is the turkey. The humble turkey. No its name doesn’t roll of the tongue as elegantly as those exquisite temptations like Genoa salami and capicola, but it is a healthier alternative (You know you’ve reached middle age when you use terms like ‘healthier alternative’).

Don’t get me wrong, I can still go down on a ham sandwich faster than…. (Hey, this a family blog, but feel free to use your imagination to complete the preceding comparison).

It just seems that with maturation has come the need for moderation, and thus the mighty swine has found a spot on my list of, as they say on Sesame Street, sometimes foods.

That’s life in the middle ages!


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