Am I missing something?

Oh yeah, I guess I need to explain. On the occasional Friday evening after work I’ll pay a visit to my local adult beverage vendor to pick up a bottle or six. For the past year and a half or so, I haven’t been able to navigate my way through the store without passing a display table staffed by a team of overly made up young ladies peddling some pink, purple or similarly pastel-colored spirits.

Do you have similar promotions in your neighborhoods? It must be an Atlanta thing because I don’t recall anything like this during my Garden State days.

So I ask again, am I missing something?

I’m not a big vodka and/or cognac drinker and tinting it with pink and purple and adding a fruit flavor won’t make me one anytime soon. Call me old school, call me a purist, call me a hard-headed lush, but I like my beer and spirits amber and brown and my wine red and golden. Pink and purple – unless it’s in a big fat pitcher with a happy face drawn in the condensation – not so much. I guess I need to open my mind a bit and take a swig of these curiously colored potions.

Clearly there’s a market for these beverages, and having excessively made up women in too tight clothing is a decades old proven tactic for moving product. But I find myself fearing a Mayan-like 2012 end of the world apocalypse if my long time friends Bud and Jack were to start adding pastel tints and fruity flavors to their products.

Maybe one weekend I’ll succumb to the sales pitch and break down and buy a bottle (and proudly squeeze into the t-shirt that comes with it), and for old times sake, maybe I’ll pick up some Zima and Bartles & James while I’m at it!



  1. Corri Byrne

    I fear like me you are not the target audience 🙂 I think the liquor market has worked out that it’s difficult to teach an old dog new tricks, so our marketing is tamed to a label on a bottle and a few gold stars to add to authenticity.


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