I have friends and family who participate in any variety of road races, on wheels, on foot and in the water. So in the grand scheme of things, my decision to lace up my PF Flyers, don a pair of knee-high sweat socks and my old ACHS Viking T-shirt, toss on a head band and cinch up my snug NBA-in-the-70s style trunks is not an earth shattering big deal.
It’s just that it’s been a few years since I ran (more like a fast shuffle) an organized distance on an organized course for an organized purpose, but next month I will try my hand (and my feet) at the Winship Win the Fight 5K – an event that supports all the good things the folks in the lab coats and scrubs are doing at the Winship Cancer Institute of Emory University.
I’m enjoying the process of getting in 5K shape. The supplements – organically derived from Yak testicles – that I bought on the Internet aren’t causing too much acne or affecting my temper that much. I’ve given up Pall Malls. I’m throwing back just one bottle of Thunderbird per day and eating only two pizzas a week. Of course I kid, we all know you can’t get Pall Malls in Georgia!
This classic 64 model, with all its original factory parts (almost), that I call a body will be ready. Even though I’m far from running up a snow-covered mountain top in the middle of the Soviet Union, with several days of beard growth and a team of KGB officers trying to keep up…what movie was this from? I can’t seem to rock my memory to recall?
Anyway…where was I? Oh yeah, getting in shape.
I’m training just enough to hit my personal goal — which is to finish, standing up, before the sanitation guys come through to reopen the streets for the Monday morning rush hour.
Lofty expectations, I know, but I’m up to the challenge!
The race is October 15, and I don’t plan to wear you down by ranting any more about it. I’ll just let you know how I did when it’s over. In the meantime, does anybody know where I can get a cubic zirconia grill emblazoned with the stars and stripes, so I can give a big Ryan Lochte-like smile during photo-ops at the finish line?